December has been hectic 2025

I'm sitting here early Christmas Eve morning. Katie is off to work, plans are all kids coming this evening,a few to go look at lights before then we eat and open gifts after Katie gets home from work. Late night of games planned and just enjoying family time and the reason for the season. While as a mom, and yes even with all adult kids, it's a hectic time of year. Work parties, family gatherings, shopping, wrapping, cooking, stressing thatonline orders are delivered on time. You name it. Then that last minute of panic sets in. Have I done enough, should I do more, is gifts as even as possible money wise. But then I see the excitement when gifts are opened and the love that we show through gift giving. It's not just about the materialistic part of Christmas but a way I express my love for those close and special to me. After all even the wise men brought gifts for that same reason and respect. Scott and I this year decided to not wrap gifts we already knew about and just keep the focus on the kids opening their gifts. We pretty much get what we want as we want it. Katie does a weekend cabin trip to all of us for our gifts and that is so much fun. This year with crazy schedules we are going end of January. While this year is good mentally and financially I am reminded of many years it wasn’t as good. Stressed over money, bills, too much to do, and trying to make Christmas for our family magical. My middle child Jordan reminded me of two things this season. 1-he realizes the magic behind Christmas was mom and 2-traditions I thought they could care less about were actually something they enjoyed. Won't be skipping family pjs next year. May do some valentines one for everyone when we go to cabin next month. This is the 1st Christmas that we will be without my dear bff Gina and it's been a hard one, hard year not being able to share things with her, and seeing her family miss and hurt so much too. I am so thankful that I started therapy this year. It has helped me so much working through losing someone that held a special place in my heart, healing my past and childhood traumas. As a child I do remember good Christmases and some scary ones. Once my dad came to his parents and all of us had to go into hiding because he had a gun and was making threats. Then there were all the others. I have to say of all the horrible memories I have that was the only one as a child that was not good at Christmas time. My great grandma Vangie's was the best. Family all together, the house was full of family and good food. Then I got married and hated the multiple places we had to drag our kids to but oddly miss those gatherings now. My mother in law spoiled me, and shopped like a pro. If we asked for it we got it and the exact one or premium quality. I miss her cooking, decorating,and the magic as a mom and grandmother she filled the holidays with. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember us, gift giving is way different,and my dedicated father in law spends the holidays with her at the nursing home instead of with us. Enjoy the craziness, the hectic schedules, the kids being little, family time etc. If finances are rough work hard at changing that in 2026. Find your path, heal, make lots of memories, get counseling and stop saying you will. I have about 7 or 8 more chapters to write in my book, the editing is the worst part but looking forward to sharing a more detailed account of my past traumas, the good, the bad, and the ugly things that I have done and been through, the bad ways I coped for years, what things I have changed to cope better, and yes I still slip I am human not perfect, and how my outlook is so much better now. I pray for everyone even if you can't sit at my table I hope we all heal, feel better and happier than ever, and not only reach for our dreams but manifest them, chase them, and achieve them! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all! Leave out milk and cookies for Santa.